technology fast

By nature, I am not a technology geek by any means. I do Facebook begrudgingly, I don’t do twitter at all, I have a clapped-out laptop and own a knackered Sony Ericsson phone which is years old – about six years old, I think.  I rarely text and prefer to phone people to have a natter. Yep. I’m technology dinosaur. My phone is a PAYG and I spend about £10 every two months. I only use that because school uses this system to inform parents of events and certain reminders. I like that idea. I think mobiles are a great idea for getting in touch in an emergency and that’s all. I’m really not interested in its other uses. I already have a landline phone, I have a laptop for sending emails and I have a very nice camera; these all do the job for me.

However, I like surfing. I really do. I love keeping in touch that way (but not Facebook), and I like finding out information. When I had Postnatal Depression, the ‘WWW’ was fantastic for me to keep in touch with people who were suffering too. It was a godsend to be honest. I loved it. I now have a lovely network of friends because of that.

I love blogging and looking at other blogs too. As a result of my constant surfing, I have found Yoga, meditation, old friends, support and information when I wanted to Home Educate my oldest son. So you see, I am not all together adverse to geekiness. Not at all.

However, I noticed some things when I need a break from the laptop: I get cranky, my eyes hurt and I don’t notice things which I should. Time passes far too quickly and I feel as though I haven’t achieved anything during the day. Don’t get me wrong, I am not on the laptop constantly but even two hours is too much for me, on a daily basis, anyway. Things become a bit ridiculous when you message your husband to see if he’ll make a cuppa or your son Skype”s you to tell you he needs some money for Sea Cadets.

With all that in mind, I am going on a fast: my laptop and WiFi will be turned off for 24 hours. That might not seem a lot to some people, I know.

I’ll do this instead.

Make some tasty treats, weather permitting, take them in the garden with my boys and enjoy.

losing the thread

Sometime ago I lost the thread of blogging.

Talking of losing the thread, I lost that in all other areas of my life for a while. After moving house, getting the boys settled in new schools, meeting up with old friends, I lost my way. I misplaced a part of my life I considered to be important to me. On a daily basis, I used to practice yoga, I meditated and listened to or read something positive to uplift my day. I would journal regularly too. Some how all that was lost in the upheaval of moving, settling and adapting. I stopped listening to my beloved Hayhouse Radio, I put on weight and became very inflexible due to the lack of daily yoga, started eating huge amounts of junk food and my blood pressure rose as a result. Not good. Not good at all. I sank into a depressive state, lost touch with some friends and went within myself. Non of that is good either. I had got myself a new allotment but even stopped visiting that after a while. After putting on weight, my hip problem reared its ugly head, and I didn’t get out much at all. I did the usual walk to school and back, to the local shops, but nothing much else. I started to hate myself. The girl who used to be stopped being her anymore. My self-esteem took a hard knock and as a result, I did everything on auto-pilot. I didn’t realise what was happening to me so I didn’t think anything was wrong as such. The Black Dog was here and the joy had gone out of my life. I enjoyed nothing: gardening held no pleasure, a day out was hard work, I didn’t cook great meals anymore, and my relationships were falling apart. I had no inclination to sew, write, create or socialize. Nothing. I had little interest in my home and I did just what was required of me and nothing more.

However,  a little time ago, I spoke to someone who was going through the very same thing – she didn’t know that I was feeling like her – and she broke down in tears and told me her life was crap. Just that. Crap. But to me she had everything! Her hubby adored her, she had healthy, beautiful children, a job she loved and lived in a lovely area. Just like me. As I listened to her, I could hear myself. Not self-pity, no self-absorption and no woe-is-me. The joy had gone out of her life. She was everything to everyone in her life and it was too much.

There, but for me, go I.

We had a lovely chat over a cup of tea and she said she felt better for off-loading. I had a really good think.

Why had the joy left my life?

What pleasures did I have?

Why wasn’t I grateful for the beauty around me?

 

I started listening to myself, I went within and experienced some lightbulb moments.

 

When I had last had a good night’s sleep?

When I had last pampered myself?

When did I last go for a walk just for the pleasure of it?

When did I last watch a film all the way through?

What is it that I enjoy doing the most?

When did I actually do something just for myself?

I couldn’t remember the ‘when’ to any of those questions and many more besides. I took a few days to ponder on this and found myself wanting to do something about it. To take action. I saw myself in my friend and that gave me a jolt. The kick up the backside that I needed. It wasn’t one thing thing which kick-started me but a few baby steps: a little of updating my iPod to sync with Hayhouse Radio, getting out my yoga books and CD’s and exploring some short meditations. My mood became lighter, I felt better and more optimistic as the hours turned into lighter and brighter days. I am still working on it and getting better at just doing for myself again. I had been putting everyone else first, I had lost the ‘thread of me’ and that had to change. And change, it has.

I am Diane again. I am me again. I have picked up the thread again. I have lost some weight, I ache a lot less, walking isn’t a problem anymore and I often dance when no one is watching. I highly recommend it.

Website of the Day: Brian Johnson

going back to my roots

Such a long time since I last posted on this blog and I was itching to post something for such a long time! But we’ve been busy. Very busy.

In my previous posts I mentioned that we’d renovated and extended our house. And we did. It all looked good, we liked it, then did the insane thing of putting the house on the market and move back to the west side of the town – where I grew up. I always felt misplaced living in the east of the city and never really settled. It took me 18 years to realise this. No one can ever say I don’t try! The school Joe was attending was appalling to say the very least and failing him in every way. Combine this with me feeling like an alien compounded the decision to move back to my roots.

I grew up in an area where the grass really does grow a nice shade of green, trees are there for the climbing and falling out of and the freedom to  get on your bike and explore. So, that’s just what we did. Three weeks ago. And to say we’re very happy here is an understatement!

We found a lovely house, with a delightful garden that is useful for all of us as a family. I’ve come home and I love showing my children the places I apple scrumped, fell of my bike, picked blackberries and spent many hours at the local park. We live on very edge of Hull and literally a few metres away from the neighbouring village, a beautiful orchard walk at the end of my street and a playing field where the local kids often camp out in summer. I love that.

So, here I am! Back again after what seems to be months and months of work around the house and then on to the packing for a new house. Normal life has returned and I’m taking up my hobbies again. Thank goodness.

I just want to share with you through my photos why I am so happy to be here!

All of this on my very own doorstep!

where have you been?

Yeah, yeah. I know. You haven’t been anywhere have you? I’m the one who’s been missing these past few months. I have been around – mostly on Facebook as it happens. I love FB as *real* friendships have been refreshed and I’m nosey by nature anyway, so I enjoy the interaction with others.

Still, I’ve come out from hiding and I’m here. Is anyone still there?

As a family, we’ve had a pretty eventful few months which have been extremely emotional and hard to keep together at times. But all is okay now.

Life hasn’t all been hard as we’ve had fun along the way too.

My birthday has been and gone we celebrated with a Retro party ( a girly one) and it was fun.

I’m planting lots of home-grown goodness in my inner-city garden, crafting is coming out of ears and I can’t stop inhaling books on a regular basis. I just might get some writing done in between the parenting, helping out at school, gardening, crafting, decorating our now very large house, the domestic side of things and Facebook (of course!)

I’ve missed this bloggin’ thing and have lots more to share. Soon.

the crafter’s edge

For some months I haven’t being able to craft – sew, scrapbook, knit or cook properly. Yes, I consider cooking to be a craft. My kitchen was at times, incognito, apart from opening the odd tin of beans, burning some toast or to set the microwave on fire with something I forgot about. I’m easily distracted!

My stash has been stashed away, shoved under armchairs, crammed in the odd cupboard or put somewhere that I forgot about entirely. Let’s not talk about the wasted minutes, hours, or even days, when I trailed around the house wearing my crafter’s angst expression, looking for those scissors that I must only use for fabric. Or that 12 X 12 paper which I must find because no other will do. All I can do is stare at some goodness and wish for the day to come so I can get crafty. The irritablity will surely wear off then? And I’ll sleep better surely? This may all seem quite dramatic but I assure you when a project is whirling around in our minds, we don’t sleep like a log cat.

You creative types will know what I’m talking about! Or maybe our loved ones will perhaps?  In our angst, we walk around the house wearing that forlorn look, just listen to that slight sigh in our breath, or the ever-so-quiet wailing. If they listen carefully, they can just about detect it! But our loved ones are used to it, so they sigh along with us, in sympathy. And just maybe, if your partner is like mine, he/she will tut-tut-tut and shake his/her head knowingly, in just the right places.

My time has come; I have been found. Or rather my stash has been gathered up, organised, stuffed put in its relevant slot/basket/tub. This was two days ago and I’m on the crafters edge. For various reasons, I haven’t been able to make a start.  But I’m all organised for goodness sake! Harry isn’t well and the outside world seems to want a huge slice of my time at the moment.

Tuesday, is a day I’ve set aside to create something.  As I look at my sketch pad, I know I have hundreds of ideas floating around or indeed, sketched.  However, I’m up early writing this post as Harry has been awake most of the night with earache, so it’s off to see the GP for us a little later. Poor Harry.

In the meantime, I’ll wail a little (only a little!), I won’t sigh too much and will take some evening primrose oil for the irritability. I promise.

sofa love

I’m too picky for my own good. When it comes to home furnishings anyway. I agonise over the right style of dining table – too big, not big enough, can we accommodate the new table so we can pull it out for extra people? I lose sleep when it comes to choosing just the right shade of green paint. Or maybe I should stick to a shade of yellow? No…no…that would make the room too hot looking. But what about when the sun isn’t shining? I know, I’ll just buy a couple more sample pots to try. Please, don’t ask me if I prefer eggshell over a silk matt finish. I’ll lose yet another night’s sleep. Do you empathise with my agony? Do you feel my pain?

We converted a through lounge and a tiny little room into two good sized rooms – a fun family room which opens straight onto the garden and the other room where we can relax in in the evening. Makes sense right?

For two months, I’ve agonised over just the right sofa for our new family/dining/eat-and-be-merry/whatever-we-feel-like-doing-in-there room. This room is going to be for eating in, crafting in, doing homework in and just chilling during the day. I like it. It’s sunny, airy and very bright. So guess what sofa I chose? Yep, you’ve guessed it! A red one!

Just like this one:

I’ve trawled websites, shops, ebay and antique shops. It had to be right. We like to lounge while we read, listen to music and nap, so this one seemed right. It won’t show up the dirt like the last biscuit coloured one we had and easy to sponge down if it gets grubby. And, wait for it…a chenille fabric feel. Hmm. I had to have it delivered before Christmas so it was getting to be a close call. It’ll arrive real soon…

I agonised over just the right dining table and put my family through my self-inflicted torture.

‘Do you like this one, Joe?’ ‘What do you think, John?’ ‘Sara, couldn’t you just die for this colour?’  I’m pretty sure if I’d listened more closely to their answers, I would have blushed at the expletives in their replies . Ooops!

I did chose the just-right dining table after the same long-and-drawn-out decision making and it arrived last week. I like it! It’s just right.

For years, we made-do-and-mended and that’s all good but for the first time, I can pick and choose and I’m having a ball! Once the room is finished you can see it all for real. But for now, it’s a closely guarded secret. Well, not really but I don’t want to show the swishes of different coloured paint on the walls, the patchy samples of flooring or the piece-meal curtains while I decided on the right fabric.

Two windows, a whole floor to lay, four walls to paint and oh, I am undecided on just the right interior door!

And don’t mention table-lamps will you? Please?

holidays and birthdays

Hello all,

Long time, no write. I got lost in the everyday stuff of life; birthdays, a holiday in Spain, some building work done to the house and oh, you know, just stuff.

Our summer didn’t stay summer-ish for long as the weather in the UK didn’t hold. Sadly, we never got to go in the pool again during the boys’ summer holidays. However, the boys started their new schools and I entered a new phase in my life with my youngest and last child gone all day.

Our building work that I mentioned in previous posts was delayed and we’re doing it all bit-by-bit. It’s much easier to chew and digest that way. For me at least.

Joe and Harry celebrated their 12th & 5th birthdays, and John celebrated his **th birthday.

We decided to take our first holiday abroad since before Harry was born in early October and it was needed. I looked forward to only having to think about what to wear and what to eat for the first time in a while. It was bliss. We booked a hotel on the PortAventura theme park near Salou. We had a lovely time just relaxing and because Halloween was coming up the theme of Halloween was rife. And I mean it was everywhere! But all good fun and the boys had a great time, making new friends. And so did we!

Oh, how I miss that blue sky! We came back rested and ready to face the rest of 2008 with some renewed energy.

Once back in England, we had a Halloween party to organise and the building work had to start. We managed to organise the party despite the building work. I hid everything behind cobwebs and a little imagination with Halloween decorations!

So, here we are in November! We haven’t celebrated 5th November yet but will on Saturday, at my cousin’s house. Apparently, we can use his new hot-tub too. The thought of that makes me go…brrrrr!

I’m in the crafting mood for scrapbooking, knitting, sewing and crafting for Christmas, but I have to wait as everything is packed away. I’ll manage somehow I’m sure. When the need is great…